SIDHBARI - MANALI 2006

Here is my journal for the past 10 days, I had a hell lot of fun and i have many experiences to share with you....so pardon me for the 5000 words I have written on this post. I hope that you may relive the same journey as i have and you enjoy it just the same....Voila!!...here we go...

May 23rd

On 23rd May, 10: 30 p.m., I boarded the Tamil Nadu Express to Delhi. I bid farewell to my cousin who had come to drop me and my friends’ parents and received warm and loving hugs from other friends. I found my compartment with two of my classmates. Apart from the occasional sirens and the unremitting chug-chug of the train, that night was a peaceful one. There were only a handful of 12thers coming, and quite a few of my juniors who were eagerly awaiting their 10th board marks. I turned on my ipod, and dozed off and entered into my so-called world of tranquility; only this time it wasn’t so tranquil. The sea inside was tumult in a tempest; thoughts, ideas, apprehensions, aspirations, angst, fear, dread, desires, all intertwined - rising high above the sea level as a horrendous water twister; it was a confusion in my mind I could not decrypt. I had no clue whatsoever that by the end of this trip, that twister would never be resurrected again in me.

May 24th

I did not sleep well the whole night. I woke up every hour only to find different people sleeping in the bed in front of me – the one that was assigned to a CHYK (Chinmaya Yuva Kendra) member, who on the other hand was frolicking with his mates in another compartment. I overheard the conversation of two army men. They were speaking in a tamil slang,
“Hey how are you?”
“I’m fine, how have you been?”
“Alright”
“Where are you posted?”
“On this train, till Vishakhapatnam.”
“How is your family? I heard your daughter got married.”
“Yes, I got a letter.”
“You mean you didn’t go??!”
“I couldn’t make it, I had a job in Bangalore.”
“Oh…okay then. You better go see her as soon as you get out of this place!”
“I sure will. Just another week to go”
“See you later then”
“Bye”
I slept for another hour, feeling sorry for the man who couldn’t be at his daughters wedding. However, in his eyes I saw that he felt no regrets whatsoever; The Indian Army – his job, his family.
That morning I decided I would go to the other compartments and make new friends. I first met some CHYKs, then some of my juniors, then some college students too. We started talking, then playing. We played ten rounds Mafia continuously, and the different card games and of course, UNO. The last time I had gone to Delhi, it was unbearably hot and stuffy – like you were in Venus, not only were you burnt beneath your skin, but the humidity outside steam-fried the epidermis. This time, astonishingly, it was quite pleasant, and it even rained in Madhya Pradesh bringing the temperature down to the survivable zone. I had an apple for lunch and an orange for dinner; the stale pooris, I left for the tracks. I lied down ravenous and tired to sleep with futile attempts.
Then just at that moment, I glanced at my watch. It was 00:00. I instantly became alert, grabbed my cell and started searching my head frantically for her phone number. I cursed myself for almost forgetting my best friend’s birthday the next day and I promised myself to wish her at midnight. I found the number and dialed. No ring. I checked my cell – it was flashing two words that made me almost scream. It said – NO SIGNAL. Off all the times, it should have happened then. I was bemused. I didn’t know what to do. I just sat on my berth, my eyes fixed on the screen. At 00:02, I noticed a slight signal came up, I immediately dialed the number and I wished her. Then I slept. The storm was still raging inside my head though.

May 25th

I reached New Delhi, and refreshed myself at the Chinmaya Vidyalaya School, at Vasant Vihar. I guess, here I found my first arduous task in the trip – to find an empty bathroom. After about two hours of searching, I decided ‘What the hell?’, and went into an empty girls’ bathroom. Just seconds after I removed my shirt, a girl comes in and kicks me out, literally. Red with embarrassment and still dirty, I went out and for another hour searched for a bathroom. In the end, I did freshen up in a girls’ bathroom.
In the evening I had my lunch cum dinner at McDonalds (4 years since I last feasted at that place). I had two burgers, a coke, and the delicious fries there, at the ‘Priya complex’ near the school. I wanted to do some shopping, but I whatever interesting I could find was expensive, and for me anything that is expensive is uninteresting.
In the evening, I boarded the bus for Sidhbari. There was no AC, and no water, and it was uncomfortable…period.

May 26th

I reached Sidhbari in the morning. Sweet memories filled my mind – my previous excursions in the place. I still found it amazing. My room was right across the Samadhi of Swami Chinmayananda. I shared it with Akash, Sanjiv, and Bharadwaj, each with a different character and personality of their own.
The camp was inaugurated officially at 3: 30. We received a camp kit with some interesting books “Awakening Indians to India”, and we got those racy orange robes. The first session was the Ice Breaking session where I got to meet the 300 people congregated there from all over India (Delhi, Goa, Mumbai, Pune, Chennai) and outside India too (USA, Australia, France). The session was organized quite well. We had to make groups of 20 with people who shared our interests. We had to acquaint ourselves with as many people possible and the one who made the most received a gift (a bookmark!). Then finally, the organizers randomly chose some 20 with the help of chits and made a group out of them. I was in group 5, later on named as Parivarthan.
In the evening, I escaped into the lush and verdant landscape surrounding the Ashram. I took some of my new found friends to a stream I discovered the last trip – It was as lovely as ever. The picturesque mountains and the valley beneath were as delicious as Swiss chocolate left to melt in your mouth.
I attended the Aarti at 6 p.m. and just before it got over, it started raining. A slight drizzle for a few minutes, and then more heavily, and more and more till water solidified and pelted you down as hail – the fury of the Gods in the form of strafe.
At 7:00, the campers watched Gurudevs video, wherein Swami Chinmayananda gave his insights into the laws of causation and the meaning of God and enlightenment to evolve the self. The Culturals which were planned was canceled due to the rain (lucky for the Chennai Chyks, who had not practiced).
I took a walk around the place that night and my entire body felt serene and placid, and the tempest started to quieten down a bit.

May 27th

The first session this day was Swami Mitrananda’s talk on the Chinmaya Pledge.
He stated that power of one in society is not as much the power of society in which everyone is together. We must stand as one family. He gave us the difference between love and attachment. Love is giving up ones own self for another and forfeiting ego for virtuousness, whereas attachment yet another form of egotism. He said that courage to serve ones nation is the utmost sacrifice and we must all eliminate our materialistic and false tendencies in order for higher evolvement. I was entranced by his lecture. If anyone else had quoted the same message, I would never have bothered to listen. Swami Mitrananda had a mystique and aura that demanded deference and veneration. I was genuinely intrigued by his words and for the next hour after the session I contemplated over it at my private stream.
The next session was a workshop to develop focus, team cooperation, and patience. There was a ring with 20 strings attached to the ends. The object of the ‘game’ was to carry a basketball within the ring without dropping it, over a few obstacles to the finishing point. The goal was simple, it was the means which was difficult. The game demanded utmost concentration and focus and team work. Aishu, a 10th going girl with the maturity of that going to college, was our forerunner. We made it without dropping the ball a single time and 15 minutes before the time allotted was over. Our group came first in the event. We found out later that one group had dropped the ball a whopping 42 times and 4 groups never made it to the end. The next ‘game’ was with a half-pipe and a TT ball. The object was to get the ball to roll through the pipe which was with each person of the group and to make it fall into a cup. Silence was the key to this game, which none of us realized until the last minute. But still we made seven successful finishes.
Then the most awaited part of the camp – The Treasure Hunt. Given clues, we had to find our way around Sidhbari. This Hunt really developed close bonds between the team members in the group. We all had to work together deciphering the clues and finding the shortest route to our destination and at the same time not swaying our thoughts from the goal. The first clue led us to a Shiva temple inside a forest. The trek was difficult, with thorns on either side of us. The place was definitely scenic though. The next clue led us to a monastery and the next towards school. It was the Sacred Hearts School. The clue was “There is nothing sacred about it, just cross over it”. We all thought it was a graveyard or something and wasted our time searching for it until we got a brain wave and then we rushed taking a bus to the place. The next clue led us to the splendid Norbulinga Palace. To get there we had to walk about a kilometer and there were two groups already on their way there. So we took a bus and bribed the driver to not stop for any of the other groups in front of us. The last clue was extremely infuriating. Each person deciphered the clue in a different way and no one was ready to accept the other ones decisions. We decided to play nasty with another group. We started following them and then tried to get them off track. Unfortunately they discovered our ulterior motives, and played back with us. We were left arguing and fighting with each other for the next hour. Little did we know then that we were the first group that had got that far. If we had not wasted our time fighting we would have got first. The other group which we mocked made it first but fatefully they lost three of their mates (a pair of twins and their friend), and they couldn’t win for every person of their group must make to the finishing point which turned out to be our Ashram. My group made it seventh. We came back-hunched, our feet numb and our muscles felt excruciating pain. All we could do was pose for a group picture and we all went and fell into our beds.
There came a hiatus in my tempest, which became filled with all the pleasant memories of hardships faced with my new friends and that is what I call a fun-filled trek.

May 28th

Today we had a Gayatri Havan in the morning. It is like a yagna, a ritual to calm the body, mind, and soul. A fire is lit between bricks and special ingredients are added for the sole purpose of inducing tears. I wouldn’t say it was fun or anything, but I sure did enjoy it. Then all the campers assembled into a huge hall. The projector was tilted towards a wall and Swamiji’s laptop was connected to it. We saw “The Last Samurai”, a exquisite movie brilliantly acted by Tom Cruise. The theme of the camp was Transformation, and the movie explicitly showed the change in Cruise’s character. It is definitely an amazing and heart rendering movie and I think everyone should go and watch it, so I wont say much about the movie, only that it was good. After the movie, we had a workshop on it. We had to discuss some special features the movie portrayed. My groups topic was Focus and we spent an hour discussing and made a splendid presentation out of it.
After discussions, I once again escaped to my private sanctuary near the stream and took some wild pictures and enjoyed myself. I went alone and I could feel the Earth actually whispering to me. The beauty of nature I could never comprehend, but now I could, but still just a wisp of its glory.
At 7, we assembled for Gurudevs Video. This time he talked about famous BMI chart and how to leave all of the Body, Mind, and Intellect to reveal the Vasanas to ourselves and reach the higher being. Inspirational – Yes, Me Inspired – No… but that was what I thought then, for it did make a impression on me which I figured later on.
That night the current was cut, and I just wandered outside. I slipped and fell on my back and I think I got a sprain or something. I looked up to the night sky and I was mesmerized. I had never seen so many stars together since my last excursion to Rajasthan. I let the marvelous feeling within me sink in. I started connecting the countless diamonds studded on black velvet and made my own constellations. I even managed to make out a face of someone, and I soon added a dress to it and then some jewelry and I let my imagination run wild. I laid on the grass for a long time till some CHYK came and told me to return to my dorm. I went reluctantly and decided I would kill the power supply the next night to witness the sky again – that never happened though.

May 29th

Today I visited a temple in the morning – A Chamunda Temple. I must admit I wasn’t impressed at all. I had quite a lot of expectations after a two hour bus ride to the place, but it wasn’t maintained even a bit. There were a lot of shops around the temple, and I wanted to buy something. I looked everywhere and nothing really caught my eye. I really didn’t know what I was looking for just that it was going to be a birthday present. I didn’t find anything. In the afternoon, we made a trip to McLeod Ganj, the monastery where the great Dalai Lama finds his abode. The view from the monastery was spectacular. There was some sort of ritual going on and all the Tibetan people were rolling some sort of device that supposedly brought them good luck in the future. I went to a young girl and asked her for the thingy. She enthusiastically gave it to me and instructed me. She spoke in some dialect I couldn’t understand but I got the message from her vertiginous hand movements. I now have a lucky future ahead of me. There were several shops here too – all the ones you had to bargain with. I looked at necklaces, ear rings and various other curios, but found none as worth as what the shopkeepers were asking. A ring worth 300 was bought by friend for just 50. I don’t know Hindi, so I didn’t bother. I got a pastry item and some root beer (non alcoholic of course) and felt light headed. I got a bracelet for one of my new made friends whose birthday was the next day. At night, all the campers were in for a mega surprise. I knew Swamiji always had something up his sleeve, I never could guess what. After dinner, all of us appointed to new groups and lined up at the courtyard to make our way into the woods. It was dark and when I say dark, I mean pitch dark, like u cant see any goddamn thing in front of you. We were supposed to lose our torches, our watches, and our cells and were made to keep absolutely silent. I smuggled a torch just for emergency sakes. I admit I was apprehensive and nervous at first like every other person there. We were taken by an unknown path to some unknown location in the middle of a rough road. From there, groups of four were chosen and we were to walk through the road alone (not exactly – there were four, but still we couldn’t see each other). After I got used to the dark, I walked in the front I think. Then I was pulled back and my hand was snatched back and was held immovable by some girl who I think got close to a panic attack. I never could see her face and I lost hope of teasing her later for it. There wasn’t anything to be really scared of. But then suddenly someone just jumped in front of us and made some whining noise “Heeelppp Meee,” For a second my heart just skipped a beat. I came to my senses and just shouted “Yea sure, just follow us.” A lame attempt to scare us, but I felt the girls fingers dig into my skin. Then some two more ‘frightening’ people came to scare us, but I was ready for them and we all just walked past. We made our way to some lawn and I laid there for about an hour. I heard all these screams from the ones who were still in the woods, and a snicker from my mates around me every time a shriek was heard. I just looked up at the sky and enjoyed myself within. Then after sometime we were made to walk to another location and we spent another hour there just sitting in the dark hearing fake screams still. My friend shared a FiveStar with me and I was still enjoying myself. Someone wanted to go to the loo, so Swamiji pointed to some trees and the person went, coming back a bit embarrassed. “BOO”… I woke up and then we were called one by one and sent alone in the dark to find the ashram, each person 10 feet from each other, but no one did stay 10 feet as they ran to the person in front as soon as they left. I decided to get my self lost on purpose but in the last minute I decided otherwise, because I felt tired and stuff and I made it to the ashram at 12:30.


May 30th

Today was the last day of the camp. In the morning I decided to take the path I took last night just to see where I had gone and I found that we were never really inside the woods, we were on the road the whole time. I don’t think I really found anything scary the previous night, but many ‘victims’ were gossiping about all the frights they received and I just laughed (to myself of course…I didn’t want to let their fear go in vain…lol). I made a trek of my own deep into the forest. I found the remains of a deer (I prefer to say dinosaur) and I literally bathed my self at a stream. I came back and packed my bags and went for the Valedictory function. Everyone was talking about their experiences at the camp. I wanted to too, but I figured Id say too much (as you can see this is word number 3330). In the afternoon, we boarded the uncomfortable buses to Manali. I spent part of the night watching “Enter The Dragon” with my friend with his portable DVD player. I decided to sleep but couldn’t. I couldn’t move my seat, so I went to the steps near the door and laid down there only to be woken by the conductor who accidentally kicked my…ahem. I did not sleep at all the whole night, but I was unconscious from the kick I guess. Hour after hour, it kept getting colder and colder as we made our way to Manali. There was no tempest in my mind anymore. The sea was now filled with indelible memoirs of the camp.

May 31st

Reached Manali in the morning and almost immediately took Sumos to Rohtang Pass. The whole journey, we nine guys in the car listened to songs from my ipod connected through a cassette adapter. Every time we passed a gals car, we turned up the volume and let the car bounce past them making them jealous. We halted half way up the mountain on some hills. I ran up and down the hills as if I was flying and I received warm compliments from Swamiji. I’m an endurance racer…Whoohoo ... (maybe it was just the atmosphere which made me fanatic). Some rented furry overcoats and gloves here (I say ‘furry’ cause it wasn’t real fur) to stay warm. I felt warm enough in my jerkin so I didn’t bother. The view was spectacular. I couldn’t wait till I reached the peak. We finally did make it there. I saw snow after four years, but it was quite dirty and muddy. I went up the slope and slid down on my butt. I shouldn’t have done that for I couldn’t feel my bum for the next hour or so. I carved some names and pictures on the snow. I was almost run over by a snow mobile. I met some lovely yaks too. We had a snowball fight. I was outnumbered and I was pelted down by snow from some 6 people, I had to kneel and beg mercy for them to stop. But at that very moment my hand was deep in the snow making my own snowballs and when they stopped throwing them at me, I got up and flung out in all directions. You should never mess with me on things like these. They regretted it.
We got back in our cars and made our way back to a hotel in Manali. On the way we stopped for lunch cum dinner and got caught up in a folk dance. We made the instrumentalists play some fast beats, and the campers started dancing erratically as if they all injected some Ecstasy into themselves. Back at the hotel, I found a fast food place and had noodles – my first complete meal in the trip. I wandered around the place and by 11 I was back. Another good friend of mines birthday was the next day. This time there was signal and I decided to wait till midnight. I was tired from all the snow fights and stuff, so I closed my eyes…I fell asleep!!! Just like that I woke up I don’t know how, I just got up and instinctively and frenziedly checked my cell for the time, I thought I missed the hour and that’s when I saw it – it was exactly 00:00. Once again I was bemused. I thanked God (something I had never done before in my life) and dialed her number and wished her. I felt exultant and content and slept well.


June 1st

We left by bus to Kullu in the morning and reached the place by 11. Today I was to go rafting. I saw the river Beas. It was mad. It left no rock dry as it slithered through the mountains. The rapids were fast, extremely fast. It left rough scales all over its wet body. I looked up with the eyes of a solider, ready to face the challenge in front of me. I formed a group of seven and our special volunteer was Swami Mitrananda himself. He had come rafting with me even on the Ganga last year, and I was surprised and delighted that he was coming with me again. The Guide gave some preliminary warnings and some basic instructions before we got in the rafts. I took first position with Hardhik, and behind me was Nishad and Shara, and between were Sruthi and Rama, and Akila and Swamiji took the back positions. We had fun. We swiveled past the many curves of the Beas for about 8 km. The tempest which was in my mind earlier had manifested into the rapids of the ferocious river. It took us up and it took us down. The cold water beat against my flesh and went through the life jackets to my chest and heart. I felt ecstatic and euphoric. The girls were screaming with every jerk, and there were times wherein I thought the raft would topple over and Swamiji even expected it and deliberately tried to overturn it amid cries from my fellow rafters. At one point, all of us were made to jump into the river. It was ice cold literally, but then again the Ganga was even more freezing. I wanted to get onto the raft as quickly as possible before my hands and feet froze. But I had to wait till all the girls were pulled up first. The force of the entire river was on me and I felt my chest crush through the cold. Finally I was pulled up, only to find out that Sruthi hadn’t jumped in, so I made it my point to pull her in the next dip and I did. We all reached the bank alive and met up with the other victims of the journey, all of them shivering. I was happy to be back on land and the hot stones beneath my feet felt cozy though they were rough. Then out of nowhere someone pushed me back into the freezing river and I pulled them in with me and there were so many inside already and we started splashing water among each other with tremendous rapture. I went to the bus, and changed my clothes. My friend hugged me for a photo shoot and my glasses fell down. I found they were bent so I tried to bend them back and …SNAP…they break right in the middle and I am left blind for the rest of the trip. I didn’t get angry and I didn’t cry, I just cursed and cursed and decided to live with it. I was offered a pair by a junior, but they were too small for me. At least it happened only towards the end of the trip. In the evening we boarded the bus to Delhi.

June 2nd

I reached Delhi by noon and back to the Chinmaya School again. I was the first there so I got a private bathroom to myself to freshen up. In the afternoon, we went to the “Priya Complex” again and I went to McDonalds again. I decided to shop for a new pair of glasses. I went to a store and found the perfect pair, but it was 1500. I asked for their cheapest ones and they were 1000. So I just walked out! I had to save my money so I decided to manage with one side of lens alone. I found some cute bears and fuzzy dolls at a gift store and decided to buy them, but I didn’t really find them appealing so I left those too. I was bored so I just bought a shake and sat near the sidewalk till everyone else came back. We left for the train station by nightfall. Ironically, we had loads of fun at the station, and my half glasses became quite popular. I felt that I was being mocked, but then I knew that they were just having fun so I joined in and mocked myself! We boarded the train at 10:30. This time I knew almost everyone on the train and all my friends were in the adjacent compartments. I started a conversation with the 10th topper only to find that she thought the capital of London was Paris and so I kept further reserved opinions to myself.

June 3rd

Card games, Mafia, card games, Mafia, card games, Mafia. The whole journey went that way. I watched Manmathan with my friend. We talked about the camp and about our future endeavors and the methods to keep in touch. Around noon, some bisexuals came up begging for money in their own ludicrous and burlesque ways. Most of the guys went up the berth and pretended to sleep. One fella came up to me and told me not to cry and he went and hid himself in a corner (lol). Remember I couldn’t see, so I basically purposefully walked past them three times. The fourth time, I could feel their gaze on me, so I stuck up my finger and walked away. After a while, I came back to see the guy who warned me huddled up near the far end of the seat, nervous and anxious. I laughed (to myself of course - I don’t like to mock people straight out). That’s how the day went. At 11: 45 I decided sleep. I slept at 11:55. I woke up at 12:00 to feel some paste on my face, I took a lick and found that it was toothpaste. I took out my mirror to see a nice decoration on my face with toothpaste and some eyeliner. It wasn’t really that creative, just some blotches here and there. I ran to the wash room, but people were still awake and put my hands over my visage and ran. I found out that they had already taken picture of the facial and I was quite embarrassed. Fun nevertheless, for after that I had my own hand at creating masterpieces.

June 4th

Arrived at Chennai at 8:00. I bid a reluctant farewell to all my new made friends. Some who come to my school, I shall see them again. Some CHYKs I would meet if I go to the Heritage Centre. Some in other schools, whom I might meet in Cultural activities and stuff. Some others I hope to meet again some where, some day, and keep in touch with them forever through emails and chats and letters. The sea in my world of tranquility is as calm as calm can be. I believe the excursion has brought a change in me. The experiences, the people, the joy I shall never forget. Indeed, have I transformed into a better person than I was before even if it is just a small percent. Swami Chinmayananda had used to quote form Lao Tse, “The journey of a thousand miles, begins with one small step,” and I have made that small step.